In Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holly describes the mean reds. It's feeling afraid all of a sudden and you don't know what you're afraid of. Paul said it's "angst".
I don't know if what I feel is angst. Isn't that something teenagers feel often? That's why they call it teen angst? I haven't been a teenager for two years, but I still feel like I'm twelve or something.
Suddenly I'm sad. After being cooped up in the house for two months, I feel like I don't know my friends anymore. I rarely hear from them and you know how I can't be bothered to load my cp. Who would tell me news anyway? I'm hardly the person you go to for gossip. Nobody's telling me anything, and I have a funny feeling they're actually keeping something from me. And maybe that's what's making me so anxious about. The fact that my friends can't even tell me what they need to tell me just makes me sad.
Feelings like these make me want to run away. I need to get out of here. I need something new.